ME

i lost my words when i try to write..

i am in a moderate cafe nearby my house.. just to sit down and surf internet..

i am thinking about writing in a blog which i started years ago.. before i start my writing, i just go back and learned from what i have wrote before.. amazingly, it reminded me with treasures i forgot.

what i am now.. a big business man.. NO.. a big persona.. NO..

still a man that asking for lead. am i a loser.. MAYBE.. but still i dont feel like i am a loser..

maybe i am a loser in a world that i dont like.. maybe i am a loser referred to the standard set by certain people or media or idealism..

back to the basic, why do i live.. for what reason i am here.. it is just to serve people?? which people.. who can tell me which people to serve??? why should i obey???

back to basic.. why should we live in a competition??? do we have certain target or objective to achieved?? who give us the objective?? why should we obey??

back to basic.. am i human??? why as a human i cant think as one human instead of taking orders from another human??? why should i obey???

sad really... very sad.. time is changing.. me is changing.. people is changing.. towards the ultimate good.. towards the nature with or without notice.

do we notice that?? do we??

a root from a seed always go to one and only direction, WATER because of his nature.. everything in this nature, follow their own nature.. but do we have our own nature??? YES!! NO!! what is it?? do we follow our own nature??? YES?? NO???

human's nature have more conflict.. do we have a nature to avoid this conflict..?? RULES?? what kind of RULES?? a rule that support one party or race or group or idealism and condemn another?? do the rule can avoid conflict in our nature?? everything is so CONTROLLED... by sort of controller (is it rule or idealism??)... so confusing..

back to nature.. it is me now..